Concerned family guy Bryan Fischer has sounded the alarm about the U.N. Declaration on Rights of Indigenous Peoples, which President Obama signed earlier this month. In the U.S., the declaration basically amounts to an apology for that regrettable genocide, but Fischer sees through the warm-and-fuzzy feelings. You won't hear about it in the lamestream media, but Fischer has noticed that Article 26 ("Indigenous peoples have the right to the lands, territories and resources which they have traditionally owned, occupied or otherwise used or acquired") means that President Obama "wants to give the entire land mass of the United States of America back to the Indians. He wants Indian tribes to be our new overlords." In Manhattan, that would be the Lenape. Let's meet the new boss!

The Lenape, who sold Manhattan to the Dutch (who dubbed them Delaware Indians), were pushed out west in the 19th century, but some remain in Pennsylvania and New Jersey, where they're also known as Lenni Lenapes. According to Wikipedia, one prominent Lenni Lenape is Dan Barker, "an American atheist activist who served as a Christian preacher and musician for 19 years but left Christianity in 1984." Of course, it makes perfect sense that the godless Obama would collude with the atheist Barker to give Manhattan to the Indians. Let us speak for all godless New Yorkers in warmly welcoming our new Native American overlords! Bring on the casinos and tax-free cigarettes! And less condescension at press conferences!

And Fischer isn't alone in perceiving the threat from the power-hungry natives. Theodore Frank, a fellow with the Center for Legal Policy at the Manhattan Institute, warns World Net Daily, "U.N. resolutions like this claiming amorphous rights can be a stalking horse for future attempts to have international courts enforce broad interpretations of those rights at the expense of American sovereignty." Problematically, the Lenni Lenapes in New Jersey and Pennsylvania are not officially recognized as tribes by the federal government. But once Obama establishes a Muslim caliphate in Washington, that will hardly matter. [Via The Observer]