That WAR ON CHRISTMAS that the talking heads on FOX News keep barking at you about is real, as proven by the malls and Starbuckses that refuse to appropriately recognize this national nondenominational holiday that everyone totally celebrates. Now, the battle's spread to Staten Island, a borough that once seemed to appreciate the weight of the Yuletide spirit but has since decided to side with the PC Police—the Staten Island Mall decided to cancel its Santa Parade and stuck its tree outside in the cold, as punishment.
Indeed, there's currently a "Boycott the Staten Island Mall" Facebook group full of angry Christmas-loving folk who are furious that the borough's biggest shopping center has decided to do away with both their annual Santa Parade and the Christmas tree-lighting ceremony. "THE MALL MANAGEMENT HAS CHOSEN TO DO AWAY WITH THE CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING CEREMONY AND THE CHRISTMAS PARADE WITH SANTA CLAUS," the group's description reads. "WE FIND THIS OFFENSIVE. WE ARE TIRED OF ALL OUR HOLIDAY TRADITIONS BEING TAKEN AWAY...YET THE MALL MANAGEMENT STILL WANTS US TO DO OUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING THERE."
The group has about 22,153 members as of this afternoon—group creator Joe DeMarco says the protestors find it hypocritical that the mall is trying to "systematically remov[e] anything related to Christmas" while asking its shoppers to purchase presents there. "The people who live here take family values and traditions very seriously," he told the Daily News. "Their religion is important. Their traditions are important." WILL NO ONE STAND UP FOR CHRISTMAS?
Claire's is already playing Christmas music and yes I still buy earrings at Claire's.
— Rebecca Fishbein (@bfishbfish) November 9, 2015
The mall, which has not responded to our request for comment, has given into the demands of its money-wielding shoppers, and will re-instate the Christmas tree lighting ceremony, though the tree has been shoved outside the mall instead of inside. Sadly, the parade of Santas is not to be. "We will host the annual Santa Parade next year, and look forward to celebrating treasured traditions and events in the years to come,” mall officials said in a statement.
But don't fear, Staten Islanders—if you yearn to see Santas parading around this Christmas season, you can travel into Manhattan for SantaCon on December 12th. Nothing speaks to the holiday spirit quite like watching Santa puke all over Mrs. Claus's leotard outside The Whiskey Rebel, after all.