With New York safely ceded to the rich old people and their rent-controlled apartments, the lamestream media's been trying to find a new home for all the unwashed young people who are too busy texting to get real jobs. Or something. This time, our nation's so-called youth is getting directed towards Philadelphia, deemed "the best city for Millennials" by a new study that ranked cities based on the qualities millennials consider most desired. So should we all flee Brooklyn for the City of Brotherly Love? Let's find out!

The study, carried out by apartment search site Abodo, found that people born between 1982 and 1998 were most interested in living in cities with a thriving job market; affordable rent; and affordable home prices, along with green spaces, non-chain restaurants, and places with good pizza. But while most of the millennials surveyed said they thought New York was their ideal city, Abodo pointed out that Philadelphia, and not New York, had more of the qualities they desired most. Silly millennials, you don't know anything!

Philadelphia is a very cool city, or so I hear (the last time I was there was on a school trip in the 6th grade, and everyone's bags got stolen from the hotel lobby). There are some great restaurants (many of which are BYOB), along with a solid music scene, some beautiful Federalist architecture, and a museum full of misshapen skeletons. There is also Sport, for those who partake in Sport, though the Phillies are evil and don't you ever forget it.

Jonathan Wellerstein, a New York expat who lives in South Philly, says Philly is Where It's At. "You get many of the things you get in New York, but for a lot less money," he told us. "It's a great eating city, you can see any band that's going to be playing in New York, but it's easy to get tickets...It feels like living in Brooklyn in the '90s when no one would go out and visit you." Philly even has its own Williamsburg—Wellerstein says the Fishtown neighborhood, which was highlighted by the Times in 2005 for being a gentrifying blue-collar spot popular with the kids, is "fun but sort of over the top on weekends,"—and a source tells us they just got a Big Gay Ice Cream, so they've got all the comforts of home.

There are lots of valid arguments for getting the hell out of New York, many of which I find myself going over whenever I look at my credit card statement. The real estate scene is its own special hellscape, dating sucks, beer can cost $8, all the good places keep getting replaced by banks, and Williamsburg exists on Sundays. And there is, also, this feeling that New York's been created for you, that the scenes have been built by preceding generations, and the rest of us are trying to balance chairs on an increasingly wobbly cultural stack. In a place like Philly, things are a little less Established Cool and a little more malleable, at least according to Wellerstein. "There's a sort of energy in Philly that I don't think has been in New York in a long time. You're coming to New York for what it is, but in Philly, you're shaping it. You're building a city and a community."

Of course, that kind of attitude is probably what got us here in the first place; every "new" "hip" "young" community turns into a Quooklyn or Jefftown or ProCro. Where there's e-cig smoke there's real estate fire—this isn't just the case in New York, but we're very loud.

If you want to flee to Philly or Detroit or Baltimore or Boulder or Seattle or the Aleutian Islands, in search of better rent or a more close-knit community or an escape from the C train, that's totally fine! The beauty of being an adult is harnessing adventure when you see fit. Still, it's not up to some stupid survey to tell you to get out of New York just because living here's a bit of a struggle. Without non-finance employed young folk, this entire town would turn into one giant glass towered tax haven. New York is like that high school chick who was once kind of cool and nerdy but just discovered she's cute—she still has a soul in there, even if she's spending all her time right now at the mall flirting with dumb bros.

Anyway, Philly's liquor laws are totally bullshit. Don't move there.