The Federal Bureau of Investigation may investigate claims that Republican Congressman from Staten Island Michael Grimm received illegal cash donations from the followers of Rabbi Yoshiyahu Tosef Pinto. An FBI official told the Wall Street Journal that the bureau is "gathering information" on the allegations, first reported in the New York Times but apparently noted by former Congressman Anthony Weiner, who said he informed the FBI of possible illegal activity in 2010.

Grimm and his supporters, including former Staten Island Beep and Congressman Guy Molinari, who recently referred to the Times as a "shit-ass newspaper," have strenuously denied any wrongdoing, and claim it's a conspiracy. "These allegations are so profoundly absurd that they serve as proof of the coordinated, Democratic smear campaign designed to recruit a stronger opponent to challenge me," Grimm said in a statement. He also doesn't buy that Weiner would come forward to the FBI instead of using the allegations to score political points. "No rational person would believe these politically motivated fantasies."

Molinari takes it one step further, and says its Senator Chuck Schumer, Weiner's former mentor, who is the Puppetmaster. “Schumer is orchestrating all of this,” Molinari told the Post. “He sees Grimm as a serious threat.” Yeah! Check Schumer's knees—are there grass stains? When was the last time he was at Edwards Air Force Base?

Grimm worked as an FBI agent for ten years before pursuing business and politics, so presumably he knows that someone might show up at his campaign offices flashing a gun and ordering all the white people to get out.