Yes, the city's oldest cabbie—92-year-old Johnnie "Spider" Footman—must have an "encyclopedic" knowledge of the city given he's been picking up fares since 1945. But will he get us the hell off the BQE in time to make our flight? "He goes about 12 miles per hour," the co-owner of Footman's depot tells the Post. "I drive more slowly now," Footman says. "I don't pass anybody, hardly."

So hopefully we'll hop into Footman's cab late at night when speed is unnecessary, so we can pick his brain. About those funny noises coming from the back seat: “They had sex in the back in the ’50s, ’60s and ’70s. The cabs were a lot bigger then.” About how things have changed since 1945: "It cost two dimes to get in my cab." And about his "style": "My advice to young drivers? If you know, tell them you know. If you don’t know, tell them you’ll look it up on a map…My style is listen to me. I know quite a bit."

Anyone alarmed that Footman is still driving two days a week will have to stay on edge another two years: his license expires in 2014.