What does a person have to do to get splattered guts scrubbed off a light pole around here? Following a grisly car crash last week in which two people were injured, one woman is on a crusade to have the now sun-baked viscera scoured from a Murray Hill light post, where bits of human hair, fat and blood apparently landed.

Cassandra Dunn, who has grown tired of looking at the dried blood smeared down the side of the pole on 33rd Street and Lexington Avenue, has contacted a variety of city agencies in attempt to get the mess cleaned up. But who do you call when you want desiccated gore scraped from city property? She tried 311, but was redirected to the NYPD. The NYPD issued a collective shrug and told her to try Sanitation. From there she tried the state health department, who referred her to the medical examiner, who referred her to the forensics department, who referred her to the CDC, who referred her to the state health department. At this point, it seems like it'd just be easier for Dunn to grab a bottle of Windex and do it herself.

But Dunn has principles, and probably also doesn't think she should have to muss up her manicure in the service of wiping down someone else's bloody hair clumps. "Basically, I've been run around and no one wants to help me with this," she told NBC New York.

Sal Pain, an excellently named biowaste worker with Bio Recovery Corporation, told the news station point blank that the tableau of fluids will remain adhered to the post until "somebody decides to hose it down." Not it!