It's sort of fitting that with our death sand and polluted water that our city's beach lifeguards are probably drunk and under-trained. Going to the beach is now just as adventurous as going to Tompkins Square Park after midnight in the 80s—danger lurking around every corner and no one there to save you! Anyway, the NY Post is reporting on the sad state of affairs, saying the Parks Department has launched an investigation into beer drinking at the Orchard Beach lifeguard office; which comes on the heels of the Rockaway iPod lifeguard incident.

Parks Commissioner Adrian Benepe commented on the imbibing guards, after photos of Bud Light Lime cases stacked outside their office were printed, saying, "Everyone's entitled to have a beer after work but certainly not on the park grounds."

While he said no serious problems plagued the city's lifeguard program, it has been called out in the past for having loose standards and a lax training program (which all-in-all is 40 hours, in comparison to other city's which are 61 hours). One former lifeguard who quit last year, told the Post, "A good percentage are failing the [city's] test, but they get put on the beach." We need the superhero surfer to come back and install a new training program.