You're reading this right. Oreo bagels, baked with cookie chunks and slathered with Oreo cream cheese, are now being sold at The Bagel Nook in Freehold, NJ. This is what it's come to. We are all to blame.
Featuring a swirl-style dough that's clearly influenced by the now-infamous rainbow bagel trend, the Oreo Bagel includes chunks of the Nestle-trademarked sweet cooked right into its very essence. Plus, The Bagel Nook has begun slipping actual Oreo cookies inside the thing. It's like the cookies-and-cream equivalent of a bacon-egg-and-cheese. The sweet-savory yin and yang of bagels must be maintained, and this is the price we all pay.
While Gothamist does accept partial responsibility in the explosion of the rainbow bagel trend, at this point who exactly is to blame for these novelties? Is it the media, eager to sink its fangs into the newest vein of virality that is its lifeblood? Is it the bakery shopkeeper, pressured on all sides to come up with a marketing coup before Starbucks steals their lease? Or is it us, a public whose brains have been numbed and scrambled and vaporized by a never-ending stream of trending hashtags, Trump speeches and branded Facebook Live content?
When will this end? Who can Make Bagels Great Again? At least there are a few places still baking them properly.