This week, debunked doomsday prognosticator Harold Camping popped up from suspended animation to remind us that the Rapture was coming on October 21 (only 7 days left!). But in this thoroughly depressing picture above, it seems that Judgment Day has come early for noted Christian evangelist Kirk Cameron. The Left Behind auteur turned 41 on Wednesday—but it seems all his candles have ascended to the heavens...along with drinks...and anything resembling joy.

The more you examine the picture, the more depressing it gets: the woman hovering by the door. The half-eaten sub. The single candle. "We couldn't find any champagne, but we did find this one bottle of orange juice!" The only thing left behind were those darn Subway sandwiches. What, nobody could find any of God's graceful, perfectly shaped bananas?