Not to be an alarmist, but, Bongo is still missing, you guys. The stuffed monkey toy that a middle-aged couple lost in Park Slope on Sunday night has been in their lives for a decade, and Bonni Marcus and Jack Zinzi say it's been like "losing a child." They offered a $500 reward for his return, and say they'll know if it's their Bongo, noting that he "has specific marks and features."

The Manhattan couple say they've never tried to have children, and the NY Post says they have been raising the monkey like a son. So they aren't finding any humor in some of the calls they're received demanding ransom. One caller told them, "If you ever want to see Bongo alive again, leave $1 million under the Brooklyn Bridge." Another said, "I have your monkey; it's in my pants."

The human race isn't all evil, however, and amongst the 100 messages they've received, some were offering condolences, or new monkeys. And it appears no one actually monkey-napped the original, but rather it was dropped on Sunday—one caller told them she saw Bongo that night and "placed the monkey atop a Flatbush Avenue parking meter."